Timing is something we all try to control and invariably fail to. This extends all too fluidly into the realm of relationships. So many of us are guilty of glorifying past encounters with mismatched love interests with the all too familiar statement of ‘it was just the right thing at the wrong time‘.
We use time as an excuse for the absence of our satisfaction and happiness in the present, projecting an ideal into the future, waiting, wishing for our dream reality to manifest, or, reminiscing in the past that played out differently to what we would have liked.
Perhaps, in some subconscious way, telling ourselves that it was simply ‘the right thing at the wrong time‘ serves as a form of self counselling, a reassurance of sorts, massaging the ego, and a means to avoidance of the harsher reality that such encounters may just simply be, the wrong thing.
Dwelling in this deadspace of fantasy and hypotheticals is a waste of your precious time and energy. There are hard cold facts, generally the things we try to glamorise, fabricate and twist into some nuance our mind is able to cope and deal with. We protect ourselves from the harsher truths, such as the fact that guy who was treating you hot and cold was simple just an unappreciative douche. We justify behaviour we we would slam our closest friends for ever putting up with. And yet somehow, we don’t do this for ourselves.
Don Draper said “People tell you who they are, but we don’t listen. Because we want them to be who we want them to be.” We ignore the countless signals blaring obviously into our faces because our ego does not want to believe them, and we end up miserable, and disappointed. Something that really was self inflicted.
No amount of forcing something to manifest, irrespective of how great a connection you claim to have had, is going to result in a good relationship. Because really, if something was meant to happen, if it really was as right as your mind claims it to be, you would not have to force it into existence. Why would you want to be with someone you had to force or convince into being with you?
Stop allowing timing to cover as an excuse for people’s untoward behaviour and the reality you are trying to ignore. Love yourself enough to call out the bullshit and move on to something more worthy of your energy. Better yet, use it as an opportunity to rely on yourself, to learn how to be alone.
Photographed by Mohan Menon
Styling and Editing by Prasanthi Pursothaman
Dress in collaboration with PEACE & LOVE by Missguided
Shoes from Missguided